well, its been a while since i've updated this, what do i have to say...well its 1:20 on my watch and i should be typing up my english report and working on my spanish binder. the end of the report card period is this week, as well All City Finals for XC. this year i'm actually top seven, and i have the oppurtunity to medal. to tell you the truth, bad enough we can't beat lincoln or lowell, but i'm afraid we're gonna lose to some other school and get 4th, which means no medal. coach denise has a bad feeling about it too. last time she had a bad feeling, the team did lose to another school and got 4th. i hope she's not right this time, i really do. last week, i ran one of my worst races, DPR-ed by like...well last week my time was 21:01 and the week before that was 20:23 so you do the math. man, i'm honestly scared. and if that's what bad enough, college apps are due and i dont' have recommendations or nothing, i haven't even requested people to write them, man i am peeing in my pants...which is ironic cause i need to pee rite now for real...o wait, no it was just some gas, i'm good...well a little better now. yea the good thing about livejournal is that only a few people know about my account, and i'm pretty sure they're all cool with me, so i'm not afriad to be crude. well what's there left to say...

(the following information is never to be said/mentioned/(etc you get the idea) again, if somebody says anything, somebody's gonna get hurt real bad) last night i ignored jasmin's calls...well most of them, there were 21...i answered 3...its not that i'm annoyed by her, but i'm afraid of what to say. when she calls, sometimes i screw up, and hence make the phone call really unbearable. i mean that's how i am for a lot of people. i mean that's why i dont like phone calls, sometimes i can't think of anything to say. i really don't click well with her, but i guess from the minimal amount of phone calls we've had, she thinks we do click. ugh, why do i force myself to keep this "cool" image up, like i have to look and act a certain way, when i'm in her presence. i can't stand it, i can't even be myself. she makes me tense, like i have to choose the right things to say to please her. I KNOW I KNOW i should care what other people think, but iono, its become involuntary. i've never had so many problems with any single indiviual. i guess its just cause at one point she meant more than just another person to me.

man its weird ya know, every year is always one girl, freshman-nicole, sophmore-ginny, junior-kim, senior-jasmin. i hate this, it never works out. one of them i goggled over for like three years of my life. another one was a summer fling but was the best relationship i ever had. in that time, i had learned and matured so much, experienced things that i never had before, real life. one of them gave me hell for two years. and another one who drives me crazy, and for the first time, two years younger than me.

ok i've spent too much time here, gotta get back to work, cya again, on the next update

edit: one last thing, got this from Wei, she still rocks

You know you live in 2005 when...

1) you accidentally enter your password on a microwave

2) you haven't played solitaire with real cards in years

3)the real reason for not staying in touch with your friends is that they don't have a screen name

4) you'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the button on the tv.

6) your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.

7) you read this list, & keep nodding and smiling

8) as you read this list, you think about sending it to all your friends

9) and.. you were to busy to notice number 5.

10) you actually scrolled back up to check that there was no 5

11) & now you're laughing at your stupidity

12) repost if you fell for it. you know you did!